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I need to find my positive vibe


Today, my feeling of worried for the future has started again. As what I learned worry is a negative feeling which I have tried to change to a positive feeling by praying, reciting and keep telling myself of the bright side of each things happened. Of course indeed readers will told me tell your problem to Ya Rab, I have done that part but by talking to Him usually still make my mind keep on thinking the worry. Thus writing is a cure usually and maybe you will be saying write in your diary. You may not want to read but I have intention on sharing what have made my worry till now!

I did plan after fasting month for business but I thought earlier in the fasting month I may get another part time job. But things are not as planned actually because earlier part time lecturer is a planned before business after fasting month and I have no emergency plan after end of the semester because I have asked the academic coordinator that I have no class for the new semester. That is what happened when you did not ask Allah SWT what is best for you. That is why I need the positive vibe back inside me. Every time I pray all this things playing in my mind, Syaitan has really played well.

Why the worry ya?
I got myself quite a number of debt. Monthly I need to pay around RM1.5k for my own personal debt (credit cards, personal loan). Housing loan my husband responsibility now and I really want to reduce his burden.I have no car so no car loan. So you see in 5 years time I am working I have collected so much debt and I have used so much money. Can I blame them? LOA teach me to be grateful, all the money I owed has bring so much in my life and help me in emergency, so should I need to whine? No! Still I need to pay zakat as I believed sign has been given to me to pay my debt to Allah SWT.

You see, money is no 1 problem with all of us, eventhough what ever which I have read, if you think about no money and you shall attract no money inside you. Eventhough you believe Allah SWT will help you, Syaitan know that money is the biggest test to human, and will make you think of the future problem. Yes indeed planning for the future is good, but also we need to focus and grateful what happened today.

I am waiting for the claim money for my part time lecture. Of course this month I have money to pay and spend. The worry is what if there are no money after that, you see how well the mind playing tricks. But by writing it down make me feel better. As it is a reminder for me that grateful things to day, you only can plan but Allah SWT is the maker.

What I want readers to learn is, make sure you plan for the future well, make sure if you have credit cards dont make yourself owed so much. Planned wisely. Remember blessing from Allah SWT. Dont judge me, I believe everyone has problems of blessing from Allah SWT either it is happened before or now. What people say about blessing in your salary is your money seems not enough. Maybe it is what happened to me which I get myself so much debt now. But what I feel when I have done my part (which I wont be telling you what I am doing to purify my money), interest of buying has loss, barriers in reaching a place to shop and so much more.

For example ya, last week was KLHIF at PWTC, and actually I was forgot the event and my hub remind me, deep inside me telling myself is this a sign for me not to go and spend money? But still I did went to the event, and what happened? We had troubled to look place for lunch, and we take so long to pray Zohor as there are so many people inside musolla, and after praying, AS poop herself and I could not found baby diaper changing room in PWTC and I managed to wash her poop somewhere... and all of this cause us time, and I did not manage to buy anything because I have loss interest in browsing after all the drama.

This is what I believe of blessing. This is my story I want to share.

Thank you


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